为您找到与经典趣味幽默笑话四则合集4篇 英语笑话带翻译相关的共200个结果:
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Visitor: Is this a healthy place to live in?
Local yokel: Yes, sir. When I arrived here, I couldn't walk or eat solid food.
Visitor: What was the matter with you?
Local yokel: Nothing---I was born here.
游客:住在这样一个地方是不是有益于健康?
乡下佬:是的,先生。我刚到这时,我既不会走路也不能吃硬的东西。
游客:你怎么了?
乡下佬:没什么——我就出生在这个地方。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。与此同时,笑话也是人们反对极权和专制制度的有力武器。下面小编整理了五个经典搞笑的英语笑话及其翻译,希望可以给你的生活带来欢乐!
英语经典幽默笑话一:The blonde and the farmer
There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。
一个金发女郎,是那么恶心的黄色笑话她把头发染成红色。笑话停了下来,她觉得很好,她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。而在这旅程,她注意到一群羊,停下车来把......。
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.
儿子:妈妈,John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。
妈妈:你只关心这个吗?不会比一下其它东西?
儿子:有啊,他妈妈比你漂亮。
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”,在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year,his history professor failed him in his examinations,and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However,his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy,"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time,I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
"No,no,that’s quite impossible,"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know,last month I asked him when Napoleon had died,he didn't know”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
我妹妹婚后不久,我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾,那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了,免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?"
客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何,你那天穿的是什么?’,
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是,我们挣了一千多块钱。”
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。
"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
“噢,没有,”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着,许多人只是来看热闹,你从他们身上是分文也得不到的,所以我们决定收门票。”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
说到这儿,爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下,我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱,也没收取任何钱财。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house,doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not,maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去,无所事是,为了使老婆高兴,他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上,我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说,没有的话,下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour,the doctor woke hirn up and said,"That will be all for today—$100,please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上,很快就入睡了。到了一小时,大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧,请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了,从此,那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次,他总是一句话也不说,光是睡觉,而且每次都付钱。第三周,病人来后坐下,然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time,he fell asleep without saying a word,but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in,sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,", marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道,“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes,do you need a partner ?"
“是的,你需要一个助手吗?”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker:"Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines,but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result. "
一架747客机正跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音:“旅客们请注意,我们四个引擎之中有一个丢失了。但利下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。不幸的是因此我们书晚到一小时。”
Shortly thereafter,the passengers heard the captain's voice again:"Guess what,folks. We just lost our third engine,but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. "
过了一会儿,旅客们又听到了机长的声音:“各位,你们猜怎么啦?”我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了,有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了。”
At this point,one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake,"he shouted,"If we lose another engine,we'll be up here all night !"
正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说:“看在上帝的扮止,如果我们再掉一个引拿,我们会整夜都呆在天上了。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英语经典小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
My mother and I returned to my parent's house late one evening to find my father,my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep. Mom had forgotten her house keys,so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car-horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house.
有一天晚上,我和妈妈回来得很晚。我们发现爸爸、上大学的哥哥、十岁的弟弟都睡觉了。可是妈妈却忘记带钥匙了。于是,我们就大声地叫门。先是在前门叫,然后又跑到后门去叫,到旁门叫,都没动静。我们大声地喊爸爸的名字,按汽车喇叭,邻居都被吵醒了,但是家里仍无人回答。
We drove into town and phoned home, waking Steven.When we got back,he let us in. Dad was in bed,snoring,with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off.
没办法,我们只好开车进城,从城里往家打电话,这才叫起了哥哥斯蒂文。回家后,他给我们开了门。爸爸在床上鼾声如雷,电视机开着。妈妈轻轻地把它关上。爸爸立刻醒来。“别关电视,”他说:“我在看呢。”
Dad woke right up. "Don't turn that off,"he said. "I'm watching it !"
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语小幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
First woman:"Working full time and trying to do the housework really gets to me. After work yesterday I came home and washed the clothes and the dishes. Tomorrow I have to wash the kitchen floor and the front windows..."
第一个妇女:“工作一整天后还要做家务,可真够我受的。你看,我回家后要洗衣服、洗碗。明天,我还要擦洗厨房的地板和前门的窗户……”
Second woman:"What about your husband?"
第二个妇女:“那你丈夫呢?”
First woman:"Absolutely not! He can wash himself.”
第一个妇女:“他绝不用我洗,他自己会洗。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来高中英语幽默笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A fellow with a bad cough comes in to the pharmacy,walks up to the counter and asks for the pharmacist. A young clerk tells him that the pharmacist is not available. The man asks the young clerk if he can recommend anything for his cough. The clerk gives him a bottle of some medicine for his cough. The customer takes a big swig, then after a few minutes,with no apparent relief, he takes another, and another.
一个人咳嗽得非常厉害,他到药房去抓药。当他走近柜台找药剂师的时候,一个年轻的店员告诉他药剂师这会儿很忙。那个人就问这个年轻的店员能不能给他点药来止咳。那个店员就给他一瓶药水止咳,那个人就喝下一大口。过了几分钟,症状没有明显的好转,他就又喝了一大口,接着又一大口。
In a short while, the pharmacist returns,and sees his old friend,the customer with the cough, sitting quietly in a booth near the soda fountain. He says to his clerk that the fellow has never before stopped at the soda fountain.
过了不久,药剂师回来看到他,那咳嗽的老朋友,安静地坐在冰柜旁。他对他的店员说,那个人从来没有在冰柜旁逗留过,现在是怎么回事?
The clerk proudly tells the pharmacist the story of his transaction. The pharmacist looks at the recommended medication and angrily reprimands the clerk for recommending a laxative,instead of cough syrup. The clerk reminds the pharmacist whatever the mode, the medication was effective. The pharmacist replies,"Now, he’s afraid to cough!”
那个年轻的店员把自己处理的办法自豪地告诉药剂师。药剂师看着他给的药,严厉地责备店员怎么能用泻药而不是止咳糖浆来止咳。店员提醒药剂师,不管什么方法,药开始起作用了。药剂师反驳说:“现在他是不敢咳嗽了!”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的高中英语幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科医生刚从非洲狩猎回来。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“这次打猎顺利吗?,’同僚问道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔,实在太令人失望了,”外科医生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也没猎杀到,实际上,还是待在医院里比较有成就感。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语笑话翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.
一名罪人去世后,刚下地狱就被带往各处走走。
"I'll tell you how it works around here," declared a particularly hideous devil. "You get your choice of three punishments. Here's the first. "
“我将告诉你这里的状况,”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣布道。“你必须在三种刑罚中选一个,这是第一种。”
The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boiling water.
罪人看见男男女女反复地被浸入沸腾的热水中,吓得目瞪口呆。
"Here's the second. " The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people being continually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.
“再看第二种。”可怜的罪人看到一些不幸的人被凶恶的野兽和残酷的妖怪不停地追赶,吓得直打哆嗦。
“And here's the third. ” A group was standing knee deep in shit and sipping tea.And he joined the group.
“这是第三种。”一群人站在深及膝部的粪池中喝茶。
No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out
“这个看来还可以,我就选这个。”罪人说着便加入了那群犯人。
"OK, tea time s over. Get back on your heads. "
就在他加入不久,一个魔鬼大声喊道:“午茶时间结束,回到头下脚上倒立的姿势。”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的经典幽默英语笑话翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty. In order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand tomouth. As a result of his lack of food he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, he got well again.
英国作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过着贫困潦倒的生活,为了赚几个钱,他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本,萨维奇过着朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物,他病得很厉害。后来,由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术,他才又恢复了健康。
After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. But still no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. Inthe end he came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, “You know you owe your life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”
过了一两个星期之后,医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单,但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单,但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后,他又送来帐单要钱。最后,医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中,对他说:“你明白,你是欠我一条命的,我希望你有所报答。”
“I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will givemy life to you.”
“是的,”萨维奇说,“我是欠你一条命,为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答,我将把我的命给你。”
With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.
说着这番话,萨维奇递给医生两卷书,名叫《理查德·萨维奇的一生》。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Sam and a priest are driving one day and by a freak accident,have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished,but amazingly,neither Sam nor the cleric has a scratch on.
一天,山姆和一个神父都在开车,发生了一起反常的事故,他们俩的车头对头猛撞到一起。两辆车全毁了,但是意外的是俩个人都毫发未伤。
After the crawl out of their cars,Sam sees the priest’s collar and says,"So you’re a priest. I am Sam. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here unhurt. This must be a sign from God!”
他们从各自的车里爬出来后,山姆看到神父的领子说:“原来你是神父,我叫山姆。看看我们的车,全完了。然而我们还在这里,没有受伤。这一定是上帝的旨意!”
Sam is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine did not break. Surely,God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.”
山姆看着他的车说:“快来看看这儿,还有一个奇迹!我的车全毁了,但这瓶酒还没有碎。上帝肯定是想让我们喝掉它来庆祝我们的好运。
The priest nods in agreement. Sam hands the bottle to the priest,who drinks half of the bottle and hands the bottle back to Sam. Sam takes the bottle and immediate1y puts the cap on,then hands it back to the priest. The priest,baffled, asks,"Aren’t you having any,Sam?” Sam replies, "Nah...I think I'll wait for the police.”
神父点头同意了。山姆把酒交给神父,神父喝了一半然后又把酒还给山姆。他接过酒瓶迅速把瓶盖盖上,又把它给了神父。神父不解地问:“难道你不喝吗?山姆?”山姆回答:“嗯,我想我还是等着警察来吧。”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的幽默英语笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语趣味幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
一个姓Strange的律师去买墓碑。他选好了以后,石匠问他,要在墓碑上刻什么碑铭。律师回答:“这里长眠着一个诚实的人,一个律师。”“对不起,我办不到,”石匠说,“要是这样的话,违反了一个坟墓只能埋葬一个人的法律。不过,我会刻上:‘这里长眠着一位诚实的律师’。” 律师抗议:“但是那样人们就不知道这里埋葬的是谁啊!”“当然知道啦,”石匠反驳道,“人们看到会惊呼‘太奇怪了!’”
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